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Kill bad habits [4]: listening, listening versus talking, talking

Please read “Kill bad habits” before starting to read this post.

Excerpt from the post “Kill bad habits”:
[4] Talking too much without asking questions and paying too little attention —or zero attention to others.

Big talkers are most of the time terribly painful. You try to be polite - you cannot interrupt them abruptly telling them they are boring. But they are. Sure, you have experienced this many times.

I recently met a Swiss business owner who was interested in my communication skills and know-how transfer techniques. We had a business breakfast and I had to listen to him ramble on non-stop for half an hour. I couldn’t inject more than a few short sentences. At the end, he asked me how we could work together. Without letting me open my mouth to say anything, he added: “No, you’re not interested.” He was right. A big talker. A poor listener. But, after all not such a bad attitude reader!

One of my first drawings (not the best one...), as illustrated in my book
“Towards Profitable Growth in Troubled Times”

Let’s summarize a few fundamentals:

1. People who talk too much are poor listeners. They are unable to learn from others. Their communication is one-way, meaning that their message doesn’t get across so they cannot evaluate how to adapt their content.

2. Ever experienced a supplier or simply someone who reports to you, who didn’t listen carefully to your requirements or expectations? He/she comes up with a proposal or a report that reveals very little follow-through on your input. This hurts relationships and makes work inefficient.

3. Putting pressure on others shows that a person doesn’t recognize his/her poor listening skills. They can become aggressive and demanding, and are determined not to change their bad habits.

→ Think a minute and rate yourself on these attitudes.
Print this page and write down your rating.

Are you like the Swiss business owner?

Never been?

Are you a good listener?

100% sure?

Do you pay attention to others while talking to them?

Really?

Do you systematically interact with others?

You said: “Yes, systematically”?

When you notice that you didn’t pay enough attention, do you stay cool?

I mean, really cool?

Done? Now how about asking a co-worker, a friend, or your partner if your rating is correct? You might be surprised…

P.S.: specific articles on communication skills in business presentations here.

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Other articles on EFFICIENCY:
 

Kill bad habits

Kill bad habits [1]: choosing between working hard or working smart

Kill bad habits [2]: analyse our wrongdoings, learn, teach, activate

Kill bad habits [3]: strengthen your meeting practices

Kill bad habits [4]: listening, listening versus talking, talking

Nick Paulus © 2012. This content may be freely reproduced in full or in part in digital form with full attribution to the author and a link to www.smilingresults.com. Please contact us for permission to reproduce this content in other media formats.